We insist that our child not get angry and if she does get angry, we promptly get angry in return. The child has to make sense of this ... and she decides "it is OK to get angry if the other person is angry," "it is OK to get angry if you have a reason for it (and who doesn't?)," or worse yet "it is OK to get angry if you are bigger and impose on the other person."
We insist that our child be patient and promptly lose patience if they are impatient. The child decides ....
We insist that our child share their things with other children and turn them down every time they ask us to share our time with them. The child decides ....
We insist that our child focus on tasks like studying/working and not watch TV, and then spend hours in front of the TV. The child decides ....
No wonder the child doesn't learn. Because you have nothing to teach. You end up contradicting your words almost immediately with your actions. The mind/head is not just mad, it is madness itself. It is built to abuse the other (and oneself).
The problem with the mind is that there is no spirit, no flow. It is hatched out of some canned rules ... a canned identity ... a fantasy ... somewhere in the past and the future. It is always in conflict and always under construction. It wants something that is not and clearly cannot practice it now (in the present).
The unclutched spirit, on the other hand, works from the heart. It has no goals, fantasies and fears and does not create identities. It relaxes and allows the being to flow ... to attend to things in their own order and timing. It believes in the intelligence that flows through every living being ... indeed all of creation. It is never in conflict. It relishes what is available now.
If a child gets angry, the unclutched remain calm. The child decides that it is possible to be calm even when others are angry.
If a child is impatient, it has the awareness/flow/energy to turn on unbelievable patience. The child decides ....
If the child doesn't share, it gets down to the business of sharing something with everyone, not punishing through exclusion (this is frequently expressed as "if you won't share, we won't share with you"). The child experiences sharing and decides that this is a better way.
If the child watches too much TV, it gets down the business of focusing itself and creating some real alternatives that are appealing to the child. The child decides that it is possible to focus and create better alternatives.
The unclutched do not despair that the child does not have x, y, and z but instead see what they do have in the present moment (a situation/a need) and leverage it to demonstrate the desirable x, y, and z.
The unclutched do not abuse their children or themselves. They do not practice madness of the mind/head ... they practice sanity of the spirit/heart.
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