Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Attachment and Love

"Many people confuse attachment with love. But, in attachment you become selfish, interested in your own pleasure, and you misuse love."

The whole thing is conditional on the behavior of the one who is "loved." Payoffs and costs result out of attachment ... like approval, pride, shame, and guilt.

"You become possessive and try to gain the objects of your desires."

Gaining the objects means desiring or exercising some sort of control. Good and bad, right and wrong are very much in the picture.

"Attachment creates bondage, while love bestows freedom."

Usually in life, there is only bondage, no freedom.

"When yogis speak of non-attachment they are not teaching indifference, but are teaching how to genuinely and selflessly love others. Non-attachment, properly understood means love. Non-attachment can be practiced by those who live in the world as well as those who are renunciates."

In non-attachment, we are indifferent only to ourselves ... and our needs. It is a subtle trick. Our ego tricks us in to believing that in non-attachment, we are indifferent & uncaring. But, only in non-attachment can we put yourself in the other person's shoes and appreciate their true needs (short-term and long-term). Only then, can we be fully relevant to the other person and to life.


-Quotes are from Swami Rama's book "Living with the Himalayan Masters" and are attributed to his Master.

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