Our Calling

It is hard to stay still and listen ... and hear our calling. This is because:

- society's desires and our own experiences reside in us as a bundle of 'rights' and 'wrongs'
- we have made these our own and this forms our reactive mind/ego
- we see nothing unusual about this whole process ... society/the media has taught us say "this is who I am" and we sustain this "i" (the small i, the reactive mind/ego)
- well then, we remain the same as long as we sustain this "i"

- thankfully, there is the "I" (our spirit) in the background (albeit over shadowed, unused, weak, silenced)
- the "I" cannot be held on to ... it is a space, a consciousness, subtle ... it cannot be brought about by will, it has to emerge; it emerges when the "i" becomes weaker

- if we teach ourselves to separate our mind in to two parts: the observer (I) and this reactive mind (i)
- and observe the reactive mind (the whole chain of the initial subtlest feeling (the sponsoring feeling) to higher level gross feelings)
- the "i" weakens and the "I" emerges

Example:

i imagine a panhandler (beggar), what is my immediate/subtlest feeling?
- we may not even be able to describe this "subtlest" of feelings, because by the time we try to frame it in words, it has lost its original form ... but that's ok, it is enough to be aware of it
- let the feelings emerge and subside; your reactive mind will get involved, watch the whole sequence
- repeat this experience after a few minutes and see that you are unconsciously sustaining this chain (you become entangled) ... and it is a chain reaction
- try to just watch, watch for the earliest/subtlest feeling you can and drop the chain earlier and earlier

When we successfully do this (over and over again), the "i" is weakened and the "I" emerges. You can sense it through a feeling of peace and energy that fills the whole body. This "I" is the route to our calling/purpose in life.