But I like my tiredness!

I have been experimenting with observing impartially the various sensations in my body like fatigue or chillness and intellectually subscribe to the idea that they will disappear within a few seconds. And they have. But, I can't make it happen all the time. Many friends of mine have gotten over infections quickly or had their wounds heal very quickly by doing the same thing. But, they can't make it happen all the time.

Today, I found a clue to why this is.

Vignesh, my son, was feeling too tired to eat and wanted to sleep. I suggested that he observe all his body sensations for 2 minutes without sustaining those sensations. He tried half-heartedly and as he was giving up ... said something very interesting ... "But Dad, I don't want to do it. I like feeling tired and sleepy. I like going to sleep." He was sustaining the tiredness and sleepiness by choice!

Same way, we enjoy our times of illness ... the license to take it easy, the opportunity to quit, and whatever else that illness gives us. So, we sustain it unconsciously. Just being aware that the illness is a choice (albeit unconscious or subconscious) gives us an opening. We can ask: Am I looking forward to some aspect of the illness? Do I really choose that aspect now? Is there another way to get that aspect without sustaining the sickness? All these questions bring awareness to our choice making and give us more options.

(In the famous double-slit experiment electrons behave like waves when the slits are unobserved and behave like particles when the slits are observed (with the intention that the electron is a particle and must be passing through one of the slits). That is, we get an idea that the electron must be a particle (hypothesis) and sustain this idea and it willingly responds!)

Leading questions:
- If I look at my son as irresponsible and sustain this idea, will he respond that way?
- If I look at the world as a dog-eat-dog place, will it respond that way?